My head splits open, fault line running a jagged red down my skull
I leak out of my self, all puddles and stains
I crawl onto the floor cradling my head in my hands. Blood pounds my temples with unbearable intensity. I sag further into the carpet and luxuriate in the feeling of a large spike being pushed into my melted marshmallow brain. Oh, baby. A thousand nerves jerk to life in long forgotten places, wailing their existence in as many high pitched voices.
Then my legs dissolve away and merge with the waves of dizziness that over take me. All at once I’m melting wax/ broken glass/ a too tightly coiled spring.
Hot white arcs of pain run from the back of my head into my eyeballs every time I fractionally turn my head.
Concentrating on being still, face down on the filthy carpet, wide mouthed and fractured. If I can just move a little to the left… Just a little more. My arm flails about limply. The lamplight exposes skin of sickly fish belly whiteness. Somehow I register that my nails need filing.
I try and collect all the pieces. My extremities feel light years apart, severed and flung away from my torso. Inching myself back into my respective sockets over suddenly treacherous carpet terrain I have momentary appreciation for life at this ground dwelling perspective. A small sigh escapes my taut lips and collects in the creases of my face pressed onto the floor.
It crashes over me in waves, leaving me sweating and shuddering. Fever spreads in a thickening miasma curling out of my lips and wrapping snugly around my head. Paper thin and cracked eyelids scrape noisily over smeared eyeballs. Scalding hot blood will boil what is left of my brain.
Tiny fish hooks sink into my soft, slobbering mouth. Spidery barbs inch their single minded way into my face, over my fattened oozing tongue and take up residence inside the recesses of my throat. They tease wracking coughs out of me before digging in a little deeper.
I feel corrupted, befouled, infected.