Narcolepsia Airlines

In case of emergency landing an illuminated strip will guide you from the desk to the bed. Oxygen masks will fall from the ceiling and can be fitted by pulling on the two straps located on the side of the mask. Fit your own before attaching to plant pots and inanimate objects you are fond of. Should emergency evacuation become necessary assemble at the nearest window and the crew will guide you to place pillows outside to cushion your fall onto the concrete car park. It is recommended that you put on the helmet and life jacket located under the chair. Cross the straps over and over and around and around and around. Use the whistle to attract attention. Be familiar with where the closest exit is. It may be a portal to a separate dimension that opens up behind you. In case of turbulence ensure seatbelts are fitted and adopt the brace position, head down, arms crossed over the keyboard. Avoid looking at the screen.

We hope you enjoy your flight and thank you for choosing Narcolepsia Airlines.